benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | September 06, 2017

Sep 6, 2017

dreamt of bring my son traveling to my hometown. in suburb of our current town, passing a hotel we met many witches and wizards. some ambushed us. some cursed us. some stealed us. some transfered our appearance. in first attack, my son lost his outdoor baggage in a blink. second attack turned my son a disabled kid with damaged arms, lost his 2 mobiles I prepared 2 years ago. my son later told me he hide them in a place intact. we were heading to a bus stop where we will travel to Tianjin, north China where I graduated and broke my heart for a girl collegian. in Tianjin we will switch a bus then reach its railway station and head to our hometown in central China. in homeless and changing fake idol, we held each other firm against misleading exerted by those dark power. sometimes I want blamed my son according his performance but I later gave up, for they were forged and fake. some witch attempted to trade or threat, and attacked after our refusal. its a frightening dream. my neck turns more stiff and painful after nap. last night I ate too much, esp snack from street vendor near dorm gate and got sore water in throat midnight after woke up abrupt. I so gave up breakfast in canteen, and just napped. there were so many hatred in area of QRRS that I really felt. for example, the day before yesterday, a pile of dog shit or feces laid exactly front entrance of the dorm gate which using fence to narrow route. I after dinner and routine dusk jog started and in a blink stepped onto it through the limited gate. the night a middle size rain cleanse the dirty road. then in last dusk another small plastic bag in which likely bloods and dirts held laid there, pits the road block. a stubborn freak in his 60 or 70 constantly challenges me on my way jogging in dusk. twice the sin copied and according my changed route around the QRRS square just to facing me and deface my innocence. God grants my killing over the rubbish, the enemies of zhone Royal China. its a sunny noon now. I sunburn after lunch in the dorm minigarden, till nearby Senior middle school students came canteen for lunch. its very brilliant during recent clouds and rains. God dad, you guide me so far I didn't make any change around me. you tells me my security intact so far for future more widespread slaughter. yes dad God, I remember and trying remember the betray and profanation of my Royal China. grant me lighter heart for enjoying my daily bread and social times. bring me my Japanese Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for better future of felling PRC, failing Chinese on mainland. guarantee our spiritual uprising on Christian way. thx dad God.

Sep 5, 2017

dreamt with a Russian scholar visited Bill Gates' futuristic house. Bill at first introduce his encyclopedia. then his wife treated us dinner. his daughter also appeared. while lingering I studied my subjects. yesterday I in my life first time received dental health care: teeth cleaning. it's a small local clinic, which charged me ¥80, dearer than most web q/a. but the girl likely a deputy doctor worked diligently and careful. the second half operative did by another woman likely a doctor and a bit harsher. uncomfortable in the procedure ignorable but time spent endures matters. I spent near 1 hour, even when I left I felt relived. its my 1st step adopting western lifestyle in grace and managed. last Sunday afternoon I arranged woz monthly cinema. I waited him from his music class half hour in Qiqihar supermarket. the nearby guard of the market even doubting my task while I using my mobile to read there but no communication in air. after my son gloriously appeared, I presented him ice drink, movie "Dunkirk", and hotpot before taxied home. its wonderfully planned and executed in a pack. but the night I slept so deep that next morning I felt clueless and unclear when I visited my son for shower in public spa. his computer locked him out after too many logon failure due to the problematic mouse. so I spent another half day to reinstall windows. his mom, the small bitch, tentatively brought him out and lingered somewhere lately after 7pm when I left the house after settle all issues fixed. I wanted to report to my son my achievement and confidential but unable. my son also forgot bringing his mobile in usual hurry with his domineer mom. returned to dorm, I doubt if I carried frustration and tasteless after my son under expectation so many times putting me in despicable. but I decided to care my son full heart. so I buzzed him online and introduce my finished work and blamed him for dispensable mobile, which blocked my access instant and let me felt inferior to his mom hijacking him with superficial educational purposed activities. PRC government like a cheap teacher monopolies education and all time pretending orthodox draining otherwise creative initiatives. God dad, break through the fake idol, free my Chinese society from lifeless stagnant. bring me my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko from Japan, for humanizing social flesh and architecture. grant me sustaining my adorable domains with meaningful future world mapping.

Sep 1, 2017

first dreamt a veteran politician intended to make me a mayor. I then follows a group municipal bureaucracy to a mine field in city hall. we each hunted for diamond, golds, etc. then dreamt I was an entrepreneur. our product is astronomical components. then dreamt a group tourists visiting my elder brother's house. they likely helped my brother for his celebration of event with their colorful performance show. after they all left marching I left to blog in dream but delayed and unable settle. my youngest elder sister and my 3nd nephew accompanied me at home. when the guests came back, we and friends of my elder brother grouped into 2 delegations to compete with dart or shooting. my son attracted many audiences with his adorable when the party went hot. its a sunny morning while I napped most of mornings in the week. last night is strange: I recklessly tried to protect the dorm canteen after noticed likely mafia threatened and extracted custody fee. recently in at least 3 occasions I saw hooligans lingering in dorm canteen, superficially peacefully occupied seats with fewer orders but just wasted time unusually late. that's threat of troubles. last dusk I brought the canteen another water melon from street vendor and let canteen workers prepared some for me to eat. there were only another guy in the dorm there for dinner, and a 3 middle aged men group there detaining with few orders. I felt glad with my melon and soon left. in my room I reviewed the scenario and perceived the canteen operating family's under bully. so I re-visit there and saw only their kid and their father left accompanied the lingering pests. I loudly talked with the old father and angers left me left abrupt. in half hour I visited the canteen 3rd time. the 3 hooligans left in dark dusk with heavy bags each. I urged the father if they had problem they should contact QRRS authority but he shown skepticism. in the night I review my situation with rotten PRC society under shadow of world largest mafia, CCP, dogs tyranny. God, sooner or later your faith holder will be attested against sins and swan song of warlord, world communism esp inflated PRC. instil us with strength of faithful. shift us from dangers of brutal accusation. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, to enhance my life span. bring me stable investment reward for constant growth in business. thx dad, for the peace and hope.

Aug 25, 2017

napped since morning and dropped lunch. dreamt in earlier era with my elder brother vivid and his pals trading & discussing startup a company. I with my son interested in accounting and attempted to work for them in its early phrase and brought some innovative ideas. then dreamt in marching army. when the army at rest during raining, we tried to cross some units seeking for shower. in a jammed barrack girl and boy Scouts trade their items. I offered a sd card to trade, likely with my son's companion, at least 5 or more items from different traders gathered in front for exchange, including cards and other gadgets. most of the pals so friendly that we glad there for a drifting living. I woke up at noon when sunny outside. last night my son told me his Junior school life started with army training camp as prewarm. that explained why the night before yesterday he slept before 8 pm when I buzzed in. on his face some appear some hard thorns, as on his arm, that aroused my notice during our video chat online. he might frustrated. I also soon to search web for what it is. God, dad, we trust your mercy. then I regretted my unease would cause my son's overreaction with burden. I watched some embarrassing human bodies videos on youtube, and fragile of healthy body taught me lessons. I long time afraid of virus and that worsened when I napped. I unease with my pillow, one of them cheap quality and some dirty spots appeared even disgusting blackened. I felt my neck itching but I know mostly it's fake response. dad God, in siege of zhone's enemies, we naturally alert upon poisons, insanities and profanations. God, last dusk I saw separating us from common wealth of Zhong society attempts, threaten me of baseless includes my current comparable stable life with economic income. God dad, my ancestor left me resourceful and basic supportive standard allowing my innovative upgrade to breakthrough stagnant smothers Chinese society in hundred decades in failing sanity. that's my mission in this era. grant us freedom of starvation, brutal labor, motionless, and shoulder me on resilient of Zhong in relations. dad God, promise me the value of my workload.

By: benzrad | August 22, 2017

Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad's voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom's close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad's glories. I have sibling of 6, that's long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, t...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, zhone, growth, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | July 01, 2017

Jul 1, 2017

dreamt of training of Royal member, ie. noble court and Prince himself. how his attitude toward his servants, esp 3 closest counselors/secretaries, can affect the quality of leadership. saw philosophy in ruled social interactive or code of eloquent. then dreamt with my wife treated in a banquet, with social skill just learned in train. last week's shopping online, a backup router Asus RT-N66u, finally ruined by PRC surveillance. the express, STO.com, totally denied the parcel it serving, just as taobao's logistics. the poor vendor kindly promised me to check why the parcel missing or went wrong, but after 1 day he rebuffed my call and prompt refund me instead, likely unspoken shame of PRC secret cop's hassle intimates him, seals ...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | May 26, 2017

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free.
God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.


woz at his 12 years birthday.

By: benzrad | April 09, 2017

dreamt first shared dorm with an once QRRS colleague who is a photographer. he is a gay in dream and spying me. anything of him will convey gay sensation when I touch them. then dream in a TV cuisine competition. I was a candidate and my dish too slippery to stand vegetables in decoration. I was in hurry and failed many times. then once my boss, QRRS cable TV chief editorial who died in mid age, pointed out the cause impersonally. when I almost gave up my works, I woke up and in anxious of visiting my son weekend on time.
last week is a strange week testifying relation of my son woz and me, his dad. on Monday which also in lunar Mourning holiday we booked cinema as usual together. that had been shifted a day for all PRC people gathering 3 ...

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