benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | July 21, 2017

dreamt in my hometown in a camp. first our village under huge refurnish for tourism. my dearest passed dad, mom, both appeared in dream. there was a town hall just under my dad's old house and in a row of houses there was performance and performers from nearby villagers. there were herd of visitors. then found I was in a travel delegation, in which quite some photographers members, inc girls. we managed to lift ourselves via a lever to higher level. in our team there was a girl film fan closely collaborated with me and we almost led to friend. my sinful elder cousin of my uncle's family, who worked for government long time, again in his separation and kept aside from our villager's ongoing emerging new business. its a sleepy morning. I felt...

By: benzrad | July 01, 2017

Jul 1, 2017

dreamt of training of Royal member, ie. noble court and Prince himself. how his attitude toward his servants, esp 3 closest counselors/secretaries, can affect the quality of leadership. saw philosophy in ruled social interactive or code of eloquent. then dreamt with my wife treated in a banquet, with social skill just learned in train. last week's shopping online, a backup router Asus RT-N66u, finally ruined by PRC surveillance. the express, STO.com, totally denied the parcel it serving, just as taobao's logistics. the poor vendor kindly promised me to check why the parcel missing or went wrong, but after 1 day he rebuffed my call and prompt refund me instead, likely unspoken shame of PRC secret cop's hassle intimates him, seals ...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | June 19, 2017

Its a sunny morning, I felt obliged to get up and do something. Recent testing tomato router script put me in a worker’s mindset, absolutely nothing else beyond of task memories. I dived so hard that I merely recognize other things than occupied by inch in inch progress I strode outward chaos. My son last Saturday lost his desktop logon confidential, So I taught him to reinstall windows 10 and roughly customizing before backup to image. He reluctant but worked with me, while his sinful mom, a cheap junior school teacher, close watching my tutorial on computer. She occupied her house every free hours out of work, grasps dirty money from tuitions she ought to offered on job. After 3 years and graduated, now she every more than 12 hours in a d...

Category: Corp 

Tags: life, woz, growth, progress, education, play 

By: benzrad | May 26, 2017

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free.
God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.


woz at his 12 years birthday.

By: benzrad | March 20, 2017

Mar 18, 2017

at first dreamt of Emma Watson whose private photos leaked on web. I enjoy amazing sex with her. then dreamt I arrange my son woz to be trained by instrumental music under old traditional musician likely from QRRS art troupe which includes an old man and woman each. then in Mao's era he or we sent to western China to re-educate. we passed through dangerous Yellow River which threaten its bank area. we arrived northwestern China and planted a tree from our hometown. then dreamt I trained my son or myself badminton. I long time easily mimic serving but response speed far from satisfying when dealing or rebound. in dream I wonder if I just lack boring but heavy exercises or real expertise coached. this week again especially busy. I setup google authenticator app for our frequent google accounts 2 step verification. for sms verification less convenient and less secure in which each time informs PRC surveillance my logon. GFW heavily blocked my operation first place, once lagged me more than half hour to load an authentication code page, forced me to retreat mid way for dinner. but next day I did it again without pains. yesterday dabbog.com backend web app updated by godaddy hosting automatically, but it broke and halt the site. when I tried to fix it, I again heavily blocked. loading loops, irresponsible webpage, etc. I left its breakdown open possible vulnerable well known and went jog after dinner. in the night after dinner, I fixed it with less human pests, while again my restored sites less accessible on my dorm internet, but web proxy testifies its soundness. my facing dorm room has new residents. a young guy frequently loose its door and shown himself on the deeper bed busy in the leaking light. I doubting if he welcome visitors or exchange of neighborhood, or just convenient to spy me. but my internet these days actually under harsher surveillance and intervenes amid. but this week not all sad, I sorted our google voice assets and prepared to make good use of them. I deploy more google or google apps accounts for maintain their gvoice in use. now salary will arrive days, God dad, grant me freedom to recharge our accounts for smooth operative. grant me financial freedom for coming laundry bill to woman in dorm canteen, ¥200. I also badly need trousers with mobile pocket for my son and my own. dad God, godaddy hosting plan soon needs renewal. and I usually penniless before year end bonus. get me out of the dangerous situation, dad God, bring my cyberspace startup with my other concerns peacefully onto faezrland, our vested land from my ancestor under Holy. bring it with bliss and breeze.

Mar 11, 2017

first dreamt in highly dense space, human crowd with dense snakes. those baby snakes in every atom of air, or liquid, like spray. that's quite shockingly frightening. they didn't bite but terrifying. then dreamt my son and his mom's family. I likely returned from long journey and urged his mom to restore normal life. the woman and her mom recognized our previous marriage hopelessly sank. they arranged extraordinary a meal to farewell. when I prepare tea, I found many large strong black ants busy moving in the jar neck. its again such a shocking scene I almost lose clinch to the jar. they all likely concerns the first time handover of my laundry deal with dorm canteen woman. last week when I visited my son and brought him to shower in public shared bathroom, I found my dirty clothes a week there was not washed. the small woman several times threatened not to wash my clothes even I offered her monthly ¥150 many months but recently due to credit crisis I asked permission to indebted her. so this time I thought ripe to be more independent. I informed my son the new expense and he agreed. returned to dorm, I headed to dorm canteen where the woman in charge of preparing food materials right there for ordering. I discussed the possibility to pay her to wash my clothes. she first defied, with encouragement from the executive woman, she accept my proposal of increased ¥50 to ¥200/month. last Friday dusk, before I dined there, the executive woman fetched me the washed clothes, our first deal sealed, except my payment. for penniless, I asked the woman loan me ¥200 for visiting my son weekends. then she told me my recent months bill with canteen didn't settle, for my kid brother promised to pay remote instead of me in his last year's visit now evaded by him. I previously called him to pay my online shopping but my phone number likely blacklisted and redirected. so I never knew what's going on with him. the woman said she sms my brother but never responded. I told her I visioned I lost my brother's aid but I never equipped financially to save the situation, so I didn't probe my due payment in canteen any more. the woman disliked my answer so I promised will call my brother in the night. on jogging after dinner, I buzzed my 3rd elder sister and hope she check our kid brother's status, she accepted the task. when I went to toilet for toothbrush hours later, I saw the canteen worker woman washing there. I told her I will pay her as soon as I get my salary this month, ie. 2 weeks later. she replied no hurry cordially. God dad, I know it will be OK after all, but the situation now really draining. this week I also try web tutorial to setup selective vpn routing to escape PRC main sites' discriminating foreign ips, but so far failed. in so many programs I benefited from online communities discussions, now I have to cope it on my own for solution. I tried to contact vpn support team but out of their service scope and denied help. I also contact godaddy PRC office girl last time helped me with discount, for unknown renewal price increase, evasive conversations sucks in grudge. this week makes me sad when I last night reviewed it, but also affirm my determination to sit with them, those deny of service, and breakthrough on my own. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my cultivation here, bring me my new family and hope of stepping out of adversity here. bring me learning ability in every stages in my life. bring me my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to better my children's life. in a few hours I will visit my son, in your mercy our joys will double.

Mar 2, 2017

dreamt of genius. dreamt my elder brothers, hometown folks, once leaders in QRRS, all turned old. I passed them who playing Majiang together and felt sad. then myself turns older and unbearable intelligent work. then a cheap soul like CCP cadre invents sculpturing on glass with color, replace paint on it manuscript or oil print. its merit is clear and vivid in 3D, but cost is material wasted once solid inscribed, not reusable. I wondered CCP administrative manner, reckless and environment unfriendly. then dream the inventor, a guy super genius: he needn't backup hardware settings, like I backup system images and important data times and relentlessly, he talks directly to hardware binary likes operates software in GUI. later he talked directly to a goat, let it be friend with me and my son. the goat hears and got it. yesterday woz's new trousers I ordered on taobao.com, for redeem my guilty in scorning him for no due respect of new broadband internet I installed him, arrived, for its deliverer, yto.com, well organized in its arena, really speedy. but what we demand, pocket for cellphone, not exists on the trousers, instead, a fake pocket without depth but just a zip for decoration. my son complained carrying smartphone in his jacket pocket can be clogging, and loathes to bring a new cheaper Chinese cellphone I prepared him all day long. returned to dorm, I tried to contact the taobao vendor. the site, taobao.com, quite discriminates its web service users, even punishing non client end app users, from geographic restriction to frequently failing web login or web im whose protocol solely supports itself. I switched 3 computers, from chromeos to android to windows, its im quits on all 3 platforms while previously it works sometimes. I lately find the vendor's mobile phone and settled replacing with new one our required pocket satisfied. I really need a cellphone pocketed trousers prices ¥80, too, but we just can't afford it now even its beneficence obvious and goodness predicts. in the night I watched a youtube documentary on world economic bubble burst emerging. that reminds my vision, Christian contrasts other poverty pestered world like PRC nowadays, or even total bankrupt wasteland, esp Islamic area, their competition lasts thousand years. government bailout grows larger and severer, esp Communist bureaucratic central predating system propagates its efficiency among fooled mouths decades smothering, but America has to cope with challenges from cheap human society's crowd, the bubble of wastes, esp eastern Asia and Islamic states. its time to show who is the chosen. now time for Trump to discipline US and get rid of cheap mob's siege. time for beautiful new One world of Christian, around Israel. time to manifest the world developmental power is not cheap human cattle's clouds, nor cheap dictation in Communism, nor terrorist Muslim. only Christian the life of prosperous, the source of plenty, the due grace God grants. time to clean the planet with AI and robots, time to rid earth off cheap human beings and beast alike terrorist, both too rampant and waste of land and air. this is new mission for Trump, also mission of my Royal China of China Empire reset ahead then lasting 1109 years in democracy and capitalism. this is salvage and gospel of the Son.

Feb 28, 2017

At first I lingered gladly in tiny houses, likely with my 2nd elder sister, likely in Japan. then found one of my 3 smartphones missing. in panic I searched everywhere. then using its GPS location found the stealer address. the 2 phone number is mathematical linked: sim card 1 number is added to number 2 card. I really can't afford losing them. then many details on exact secret on the phones and their numbers. just in panic I woke up and recognized in reality my phones all on my desk intact. back to dream I still felt the panic painful. yesterday is fruitful, I published monthly blog release. I watched amazon TV and close watch small woman unstable emotionally broke her husband career and her own life which is totally reckless and hopeless in ruins. I wondered bitch in my life, my son's mom, desperate to hurt, means what for her destiny. the tiny dog steps by steps went insane. my son after a day didn't enable his indoor WIFI, likely under his mad mother's ban. last week I got a surprising gain from QRRS, my once and long time employer, ¥1000. I immediately renew woz's 8 domains with it, left 3 expensive domains for next renewal will costs near ¥2000. God, dad, its a bit dearer since last year, but godaddy China office girl actually privileged me by contacting me and helping me finish the order with coupon unavailable public. dad God, please allow us owning our namespace as family heritage lasting millenniums. I want share them with my offspring! grant us financial freedom to pay the domain registrar. and please grant us to keep our amazon associate account. we had been ditched once for poor websites traffic. I had to mend all amazon ad code among my sites to link with our new trackID. that's too boring and heavy load to sustain. grant us minimum interactive rate amazon requires to sustain our membership of its ad associate. dad God, remove us blockage the small bitch laid between my son and me. show my son, woz, the future world he pivots. bring me sooner my Royal China to extinguish hatred rage, rip us off the dirty family of my son's mom and herself. put us in sanctuary of holy mercy, and sole independence under the dome without divided. thx for the peace in the morning, God.
China Regalbum
hard meal with full heart thanksgiving.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

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