benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | June 13, 2017

Jun 13, 2017

a relaxing dream in which I visited my artist friends in Tianjin art college. at first I dreamt with BianQiong, my Tibet painter friend, and his friend. they live in dorm like a family. then shifted to a house near gate and some of those students there working and chatting. I using English with a friend from my hometown neighbor county, who is humble and treated me well during my visited BianQiong in vacation, so the moment didn't paid him enough attentions but kindness felt. he sometimes mixed with my impression on another guy in the art college who also attracted me with his able attitude. we chatted in English but my English seemingly not fluent enough and sometimes the students there in the house perceived it. its a peaceful...

By: benzrad | May 26, 2017

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free.
God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.


woz at his 12 years birthday.

By: benzrad | April 10, 2017

Apr 10, 2017

dreamt of the family of my cousin, ie. husband of my mother's niece. I once liked his 2nd daughter who was tall and slender. but long time works in farm worn out her hands which drove me away from her in my senior middle school summer vacation and never return. I saw her new family in dream. her dad, a communist cadre in his village, a selfish impetus driver for many children even complied others to abide one child policy, invented or bought to connect his family with his offspring's family, and his properties with wire. the wire likely controlled digitally. I saw just dial "home to farm" and the 2 place linked and can communicate online. I still felt warm with the girl and her sisters and her child. then dreamt I made...

Category: blog 

Tags: zhone, rite, crisis, choice, growth, WOZ 

By: benzrad | April 09, 2017

dreamt first shared dorm with an once QRRS colleague who is a photographer. he is a gay in dream and spying me. anything of him will convey gay sensation when I touch them. then dream in a TV cuisine competition. I was a candidate and my dish too slippery to stand vegetables in decoration. I was in hurry and failed many times. then once my boss, QRRS cable TV chief editorial who died in mid age, pointed out the cause impersonally. when I almost gave up my works, I woke up and in anxious of visiting my son weekend on time.
last week is a strange week testifying relation of my son woz and me, his dad. on Monday which also in lunar Mourning holiday we booked cinema as usual together. that had been shifted a day for all PRC people gathering 3 ...

By: benzrad | March 02, 2017

dreamt of genius. dreamt my elder brothers, hometown folks, once leaders in QRRS, all turned old. I passed them who playing Majiang together and felt sad. then myself turns older and unbearable intelligent work. then a cheap soul like CCP cadre invents sculpturing on glass with color, replace paintings on it manuscript or oil print. its merit is clear and vivid in 3D, but cost is material wasted once solid inscribed, not reusable. I wondered CCP administrative manner, reckless and environment unfriendly. then dream the inventor, a guy super genius: he needn't backup hardware settings, like I backup system images and important data times and relentlessly, he talks directly to hardware binary likes operates software in GUI. later he talked directly to a goat, let it be friend with me and my son. the goat hears and got it. yesterday woz's new trousers I ordered on taobao.com, for redeem my guilty in scorning him for no due respect of new broadband internet I installed him, arrived, for its deliverer, yto.com, well organized in its arena, really speedy. but what we demand, pocket for cellphone, not exists on the trousers, instead, a fake pocket without depth but just a zip for decoration. my son complained carrying smartphone in his jacket pocket can be clogging, and loathes to bring a new cheaper Chinese cellphone I prepared him all day long. returned to dorm, I tried to contact the taobao vendor. the site, taobao.com, quite discriminates its web service users, even punishing non client end app users, from geographic restriction to frequently failing web login or web im whose protocol solely supports itself. I switched 3 computers, from chromeos to android to windows, its im quits on all 3 platforms while previously it works sometimes. I lately find the vendor's mobile phone and settled replacing with new one our required pocket satisfied. I really need a cellphone pocketed trousers prices ¥80, too, but we just can't afford it now even its beneficence obvious and goodness predicts. in the night I watched a youtube documentary on world economic bubble burst emerging. that reminds my vision Christian contrasts other poverty pestered world like PRC nowadays, or even total bankrupt wasteland, esp Islamic area, their competition lasts thousand years. government bailout grows larger and severer, esp Communist bureaucratic central predating system propagates its efficiency among fooled mouths decades smothering, but America has to cope with challenges from cheap human society's crowd, the bubble of wastes, esp eastern Asia and Islamic states. its time to show who is the chosen. now time for Trump to discipline US and get rid of cheap mob's siege. time for beautiful new One world of Christian, around Israel. time to manifest the world developmental power is not cheap human cattle's clouds, nor cheap dictation in Communism, nor terrorist Muslim. only Christian the life of prosperous, the source of plenty, the due grace God grants. time to clean the planet with AI and robots, time to rid earth off cheap human beings and beast alike terrorist, both too rampant and waste of land and air. this is new mission for Trump, also mission of my Royal China of China Empire reset ahead then lasting 1109 years. this is salvage and gospel of the Son.
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