benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | May 26, 2017

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free.
God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.


woz at his 12 years birthday.

By: benzrad | August 24, 2015

Aug 24, 2015

dreamt of Japanese murdering. in dawn dream, some Japanese girls likely actress I followed in google+ appear. some of them fell into love and let me admire. then saw gangsters in Japan. a short boy commanded his pals throw a victim into lake, then electricized the water. the victim likely shocked and paralyzed. when crowd approached to the crime scene, I woke up and don't know death end or just pains as punishment. yesterday my kid brother contacted me, first by sms asking if I need to buy anything on him. I blamed him always likes to do the less money intensified tasks, rather than directly give me loan. God, I don't know where his mercy came from, but I told him my review of his bravery: 3 times saved me from asylum by led me ...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, dream, AsohYukiko, God, Son 

By: benzrad | May 13, 2015

13/5/2015

dreamt of academic nightmare.::in dream my passed mother encouraged me to join campus even I had definitely lost chance to gain my diploma. I talked with a young professor on way to classroom, saw my classmates there, and our mentor woman, Yangkexin, both far from me. I just so singly entrenched among them, spending time aimless and futile just for forgetting the sad end like blackhole. the late spring drizzle lasted more than 4 days. its so rare in Qiqihar, northeastern China. my towel in dorm even can't dry itself. yesterday I added my google adsense code to my 3 new dynamic sites powered by google cloud engine to allow display advertisements which can bring me shared income from the search giant. its so nice to see site vivid wi...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, AsohYukiko, God, Son 



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