benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | February 27, 2017

Feb 27, 2017

dreamt 2 or 3 my privileged senior middle school alumni. Zhu Zehua, who's technical subjects usually score quite high, and some others long time no see. we cooperate and compete to produce rebellion weapons. we also compete intelligently. we passed my hometown dam, spring well with crowd among which we escape enemy's hunting. this week a bit sad. gay in neighbor dorm room desperate stalks me. surveillances my usage of toilet and follows to shit and leave it unflushed. the sickened soul pretends coughing for quite some time and he should dies in illness. my son's mom, the small bitch also tried her best to challenge me. they mimic my son's monthly cinema day and invited her mom to go cinema the night before my gathering day with my son. all her knowledge is outdated and poor quality but still she day by day gathering pupils at her house for tuition. one of her girl friend whose father lent me camera when my son given birth at hospital found some old photos of my son in the hospital agrees to send me those precious photos but now hold back by the bitch, son's mom, for a bargain. my son yesterday irritated me and I had to give him a lesson. we previously agreed that our new broadband was a bliss holy and we should make good usage. but on Sunday when I went to see him, he even didn't power on broadband router in his house, but just reading paper book of rephrased Chinese classic, A Dream of RED Mansions. I went mad with his ignorance. I show brutal violent threat and scorned him for near half hour in cause of his failing VPN and system update. I didn't mean hurts but remind him his work, his future indispensable with high tech including internet, while his mom and his grandma actually not equipped it, for their cheap work mainly related with primitive tools. my son show resolve when we went for lunch out and shower, even after I bought him extra fruits. on way returning to my dorm, I pray God to let it the hard time for us to defeat, to slaughter our enemies by hand and will. I beg Holy rewards us thicker after the adversity and allow us to stick out of the dark curtain and smile. in the night I felt guilty upon my son, and boring and sad for shopping online. I bought my son a spring trousers with cellphone pocket. I also ordered myself one but run out of money. so I entreated my kid brother to pay. but the contemptible man enlist my phone number into his blacklist to evade confrontation. God, let me remember the revengeful shame sinful people insult us, the glorious One. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the eastern Asia. bring me sooner Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan for peace among our heritage, our once more glory covers half pacific ocean. grant us memories of retaliation.

Feb 16, 2017

the day before yesterday I worked overnight. then yesterday I felt inspiration in ladies fulfilled my heart. I admire them so much, and sympathetic to their pleasure seeking and concerns while none of them lives in my life in past decade. in the night I dreamt first played with kids. then among a kindergarten, I with my men with shotguns played with kids crossword puzzle. we shoot to answer. then I likely a royal captain of firearm brigade, operated them in war field where fire distance matters. after wake up I wonder the small figure in dream is Napoleon, who relentless with war fire till saw his own failure and death after challenge Russian, the iced land. I saw relentless love attempts for his concerned, esp women in his life, in prescribed relief of embrace of death against doomed premature failure. I felt dizzy after morning alarm. even breakfast in canteen is satisfying, I still trying finding nap after settle here my workload. last afternoon bankcomm clearance crew buzzed in, show their interest to interview. there is nothing new in their probation. they impotently demanded me return at once my credit debt of ¥10000 while It clearly out of possibility in my situation, in which recent 3 months steadily returning, ¥2000 paid every salary day. in the mid after found their only aim is to intimidate me, I claimed they incapable to negotiate with me, for there is nothing valuable or granting policy in their holding card, so I arbitrarily quit the conversation. my work space just resumed, I enjoyed my favorite Chinese podcasts, and Amazon prime video in the rest of the day. God dad, last Monday after my ICBC monthly credit statement revealed ¥700 left under account, I immediately renew zhone 19th domain, billingzhu.com for my 2nd son, to its longest life span, 5 years for ¥511. dad God, there is only one thing unfinished in 2016 as annual, woz's 12 domains renewal. grant us financial freedom to do the job. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my offspring. bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan, to home my new family. bring 2017 new monument for ever growing mission to revitalize eastern Asia, for the grace and persistent commitment of Chinese and Japanese for thousand years forged in Ming Dynasty under my ancestor's title, Zhu's. thx dad God, for the snowing night yesterday and this morning so quiet in sober.

Feb 10, 2017

dreamt of complicated time space pair. after 2 busy days at dorm, heat gathered in central China gradually melt. my nose ran water a lot, and shit softly, too. last night I perceived erotic dream drove by full sperms, but in fact I didn't wet last night. rather, in dream I got insight of time-space tangle. I saw a dynasty broke down and lots of strange behaviors, like soldier don't know who to obey, court women don't know how to survive in riot era. I saw my Nankai alumni went class while I drift wild. I saw when time dissolves, events in space can be floating around, losing their sequence. the result and the cause in different time location can't be replaced, otherwise there will be forecast, in time travel paradox. these days hard economy again pestered me. I only gain a much shrinked ¥3000 in 2016 as year end bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, comparing near ¥7000 in 2015. a policy gain, aid for poor staff, ¥1000 offered to me by labor union. I handed over to dorm canteen at once, and next day I had to borrow ¥200 again for living expense. now I have debt ¥1000 to local contacts, and my anual renewal of zhone domains yet complete. ¥2000 will do the job like a breeze. then again every month I will fight for dinning out twice a week with my son woz for gathering, and my pills will add another ¥100. in the 3rd hometown flight tour, I almost broke up with my kid brother who contempts me and cheats me into endless waiting his aid. now my salary, at its best around ¥3000, barely afford our lifestyle including credit debt penalty. but, God, how I lucky in such failing economy maintaining such a small burden of investment! and watch the grand produce of my endeavour and willful. God, dad, I see so many affirmatives in holy message. please firmly attach me onto faith of Christian. bring me sooner my Royal China to fasten the falling treasure. bring me Asoh Yukiko to put together the Empire dream and stipulation. grant me financial independence to safeguard our startup so strong online.

Jan 31, 2017

the night before yesterday I gave my son a lesson, for he too open and vulnerable upon cheap offers. this night I felt blessed when we ready to sleep. I first dreamt in art college saw many students and computers running a software likely robohelp or tin?in. its a series tools including 3d modeling, illustration, and presentation. in dream I felt glad to fetch my pastime skill and sharpen them. I felt that would more or less let me more energetic. then in my hometown village, facing neighbor village there are 2 modern office malls where once rice field. many small companies rent space there and share introduction multimedia, project management or progress report online there. I still dwelling on the robohelp and thought about app as service, or the functions of presentation. I tried hard to sync our data or put our running data into the app. the detail of program very lengthy in dream, even cross the intervene of getting up to pee. 2 days ago I finally got informed that our train ticket booked, after more than 60000 times bidding online by our travel agency, ctrip.com. so last unease resolved and we really needn't hurry, just as holy affirmed. my son once repulsive upon my teasing infant of my nephew's, a 16 month old boy, after I told him why I glad to help infant with empowering them with full heart support, he forgave me and I thankful for his considerate. his willful pal, the grandson of my 2nd elder sister, also quit hijacking my son with all flattery. I also openly talked about fault of my 2nd elder sister whose family less attractive and colder in heart, with her husband and daughter-in-law. the daughter-in-law is a slim tall woman with adorable configure and I tried to help her when she loathe to chores. I hope they don't pitfall like some of my relatives. after all, we are family from my passed grand father, God in heaven now. this is a sunny morning with clouds. hopeful it will more shiny later. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my offspring, to guest my concerned. bring me financial independence to liberate some of my relatives trapped in wrong idea and habit. grant me adequate fund to renew our domains, the last task unfilled upon new year 2017.
 Regalbum
spring snow in Qiqihar where the center of future territory of eastern Asia stands fautless. here snow scene of QRRS Dorm.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, finance, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | February 10, 2017

my 3rd flight tour with dearest son, woz, never comes easy. credit debt crisis put me in danger of deprive of airline or any other enjoyable high speed travel. I also itched to demonstrate my hometown folks, who mostly just fed and car friended, entertainment of video game, large mirror screen extends mobile source, and computing everywhere, with which mostly I experienced with aid of my dear credit card in 2015, if the travel means happy together. I also anxious about our first package dispatching experience with airline, will batteries banned? will my acer chromebook, my 2nd parcel, not allowed to bring with us? will gamepads survive compacted space? will our dell notebook, which near 6 years old, service us as main wifi throughout GFW? m...

Category: lifesteam 

Tags: life, rite, gift, WOZ 

By: benzrad | January 27, 2017

Jan 27, 2017

last night woke up earlier then dwelling in dreams. first dreamt in zoo with dearest son, woz. 2 cheap girls recklessly open cage of tiger and let it at large. we rushed to evade and scattered. when I returned near zoo and found tiger caught woz and indecisively tore his clothes. in terror I scream for zoo manager's help. when he in sight and running closer, I approached the tiger and woke up. I timely noted it on my mobile. then dreamt an OCR software's advertisement on media. I was more or less familiar with pirate warez once, so I'm sure I will get a copy of the tool. I felt glad with it I can turn some Chinese textbook and its tests digitally for woz's exercise. then all dreams about flying, with a delegation of school teachers likely in vacation tour. I can fly without any voyage, and use it to challenge barrage around me. this is a pale morning and eve of lunar new year. my returning train ticket still pending while brokerage already handed over. woz gained about ¥2100 pocket money from his hometown relatives. I didn't send out any gift money, including my newly married nephew. but I told him my startup and hard economy and promised will help him in future when my situation better. yesterday is the turning day of our vacation here, half elapsed. we made nice demonstration to country guys about steam online games to larger LED, chromecast mirror screen, English online videos. our poor dell notebook almost broke down after heavily load of video gaming, in frequent freeze now. I sincerely best wishes to my relatives here, hoping someday I can improve their lives. they already saw satisfactions in the decade when most nephews built their families. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to my larger family, for my future offspring. bring me Asoh Yukiko for glory of regal affair. grant us financial freedom to support my online startup.

Jan 25, 2017

first dreamt inspecting a girl secretary of Communist Youth league. she later in charge of a business owned by CCYL, then the business turns in property of girl her own. then dreamt being an India school boy. he studied diligently and guessed or cheated to know exam's topic so scores highest. the topic likely about self-restrain, in Chinese in dream exactly "纲功伐满". his mom and sister celebrate his performance. his school dean who usually stern but now also welcomes him warmly. the boy gladly goes shopping with award, a check. this morning I woke up by the dream and made memo on my mobile. then I fell asleep again till my son got up. my elder sister asked us stay for celebrating lunar new year especially. my nephew came from my hometown village to invite our visit but I defied it for I felt vengeful against my brothers, esp my kid brother who made us harder when he had to aid me meanly. so I decisively evade him and his family, including the village, Zhudajiu where my 2 elder brothers didn't extend helping hand during my credit debt crisis last year. among the relatives and rich meal I abrupt left to my younger elder sister's house to blog. here my 2 nephews also hurry to downtown market. my dearest son, woz, aside me with his pc games. lunar new year holiday can be boring, for lunar harvest season doesn't exist nowadays. I just too far from any celebration in my family affair, nor regal affair. with additional ¥300 in this salary from QRRS, I equipped my family amazon prime another year, but nowhere to find fund to renew another 12 zhone domains esp. under woz's title. God, dad, pl allow me finishing last todo annually in this month. let 2017 anxious free and firm business as seeds soiled. bring me sooner my Royal China to house my beloved, my children. bring Asoh Yukiko when we still breed. grant us financial independence and ability to see through adversity. thx dad.

Jan 21, 2017

dreamt siblings competition in economy. mafia tried to control state owned properties and bidding for merger. I was threatened not to bid but managed to, among my relatives influence. the flight toward hometown esp. smooth, all my unease evaporated after a night and a day's on way. its my first time brought a luggage and I had to ask stewardess where to fetch it back. my son grows more confident in the journey with flight. our neighbor seat was likely a graduate girl, we made nice chats. we only had ¥500 budget for on road cost, and it did cover, including taxi to my sister's house in a town, our destiny. these days a nephew's wedding in preparing, for the bride's house too far, in neighbor province, so she will move to hotel in the county's capital in advance. tomorrow will be the wedding ceremony holds locally. our returning voyage still pending, for the train ticket too scarce to buy. we paid Ctrip.com to hunt for us, and it monitored more than 500000 times and still going. the town's business mostly cement, whose pollution quite severe. but today is second sunny day since our settlement and sunniest one so far. the 2 sons of my sister each has a car. their house newly furnished. I even already looking forward to return while my son still find funs here. all equipment we brought with us works well here, allowing woz to demonstrate online games with gamepads, mobile games chromecast to large LCD. hope he find friends here. God dad, we still have 12 domains to renew, pl grant us space to execute it. bring me sooner my Royal China to host our friends and relatives in glories. bring my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my family and children. thx, dad.

Jan 12, 2017

dreamt of my once campus alumnus, in surname Shi. he was one of 2 schoolmates helped me when I first settled in Qiqihar thousand miles from my hometown after graduation. in dream his house near mountain and open. at first I thought its scenery. then I anxious about safety. Shi first denied problem then gradually admitted it. his only elder sister then joined conversation, reviewed gunned robberies, as well as wild mountain predators, together their brutality hurt their family and young memories in feeble. then I review our old house also just under and inward 2 mountains' junction and kept so well by my grand dad, warm, vivid and self-relies. in reality when I first settled in Qiqihar and visited Shi's house, his house is a small slum among shabby northern China normal residential area. toilet was near mile away and backyard least spacey. but after nearly 2 decades, many slums turned into skyscrapers here and I don't know where is Shi and his old family now. these weeks preparing hometown tour 3rd with woz, dearest son. I previously severe concerned if my credit debt deprives me of airline, but narrowly I got our flight ticket in a mid Monday night. my kid brother tried his best to sell poverty, claiming my sister can't afford our flights but under my emphasis promised ¥5000 from my sister arrived in 2 times remission my failing kid brother loathed to complete. we got a flight toward hometown while return voyage is train whose ticket paid but still in hunting by ctrip.com, a Chinese mainstream travel agency, due to PRC cheap policy said to protect the poor while in fact lots of brokers profit from the scarce of train ticket out from saturated market. my alipay also once strangely locked me out of payment, till called its support crew to fix it. recently I mostly unease if my payment method totally freezed but so far attests I at large with my assets. nevertheless, with remaining Chinese Yuan, I equipped myself another domain, billingzhu.com for my future new family member perceives in holy message. soon after I gained it from godaddy.com it strangely deleted from my account. after spent near half day desperately resuming it, I had to call godaddy support but found unknown deletion likely beyond my intentionality. and PRC tightens law against personal domain ownership esp of overseas, restricting ISP within its sovereign from support. God, reckless dictator in sinking PRC desperate clinging to my portal online. where is the barked tree tall enough for voice of holy bliss, voice of hope in destructive nation like China under CCP seizure? bring me sooner my Royal China to extinguish sickened tyrant in PRC falling day by day in fear and hatred. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and our happy journey to central China, our hometown, in gathering our relatives in lunar new year 2017. grant us free web and steady investment on our cyberspace startup. thx, dad God.

Dec 29, 2016

first dreamt Pony Ma, founder of tencent.com, lives our neighbor. when I leaving my house topless, he and his parents just returning home and caught astonished. I explained I was in active art performance after found myself fully naked. then dreamt among kids. I esp cared a little girl likely a Tibetan. then with my kid traveling in delegation of my once colleagues of QRRS cable TV station. my kid creative and rushes to package and seats for the bus when we leaving a mountain village, just like myself unsettled for tour coming. this week barely looking forward to new year end bonus from my once and long time employer, QRRS. last salary brought me ¥3100, merely covered credit debt clearance monthly, 2000rmb. now I had several small bill to write off, inc tea subscription, treating neighbor kid for his lent us internet during our switching to fiber optic from PPPOE dialing, monthly cinema with woz, Taiwanese restaurant Formosa membership recharge, keep alive several debit accounts after annual fee charges, groupon showers, etc. I already had 2 local debtee with debt 1100rmb, and my web assets didn't fully renew, esp small cost but largely rewards, like amazon prime, localphone rental. I almost can't live without them. zhone's 12 domains under woz, my dearest son's title, also needs renewal which nearly costs $250. coming new year holiday also renders additional expense for dorm canteen then will out of service. I have to feed myself and treat my son in gatherings in the period. devil in dorm still pesters me, even more shamelessly and desperate. they frequently cut me offline when I enjoy passive listening or watching, ie. no my input on computer, trying to entangle me in cheap under espionage. they also deprive me off due caliber of web traffic capacity, results in badly lagging video and webpage loading loop at rate near 0 bps. they setup spare no effort to profane my solo and ruin my pleasure among cyberspace community but only reveal their ugly bloody mouth barking upon wrong tree. my dorm's window wall leaked, loose with many ashes broken down. I invited dorm director, a young tall and beautiful woman, to inspect if it turns dangerous. but she brought 2 technicians and they claimed well around. I still don't believe in. I want change to another dorm room well in shape and to evade the dark and poisonous souls sieged my current dorm, esp the spitting and cough pretending cow in facing neighbor. my current residential situation likely predefined before my move in, doomed to frustrate me and intimidate me into sad silence among criminal and sicken. they hated my brilliant website long enough. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to vitalize my mission so far so joyful to discipline Chinese in new millennium for future gracious survival, for greater transformation of its people and culture sound and independent. bring my son and myself via airline to our hometown in 3rd journey out of anxiety. grant me independent finance to maintain our web investment and growth of presence online.

regalbum
regalbum

woz aboard flight tour to hometown.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, God 

By: benzrad | December 20, 2016

Dec 20, 2016

dreamt detailedly about Japanese chore machine. there are 4 or 5 cabins, with different functions, like laundry, shower, putting on clothes, sleeping, massage, etc. each item has checkout or deduction, financial log function. shower and put on clothes let me lingered a lot. clothing charges 198 Japanese Yen. I even can't leave but trying more and more till penniless. they are all 360 rotatable, around human body inside. putting on clothes let you extending arms and shift your waist to slide into clothes with string direction. it even can be erotic. I later anxious if showering robot including smart toilet cover function. its a silent Tuesday morning. since Monday morning hoarfrost appeared on trees. salary day coming and I put...

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | December 05, 2016

woz with his favorite game, PvZ: garden warfare 2, newly bought from origin store, at home.
woz with his favorite game, PvZ: garden warfare 2, newly bought from origin store, at home.

thx QRRS, this year's year end bonus arrived earlier 2 months. with the aid I timely updated my family platform game library, inc woz's origin game "PvZ:garden warware 2 deluxe", my 3 steam games I almost played through on their pirate version from web, ie. "mask of Ninja", "enemy frontline", "zombies trilogy". after these years I more and more prone to work when alone, lack suitable mood for video games. my son under my influence either drifting from pc games, just mobile games let him lingering on his android devices. sinking PRC these days concocted lots of financial laws against personal financial freedom, trying prevent civil expenditure and establishment via investment. they mean cheap, wanting, torment and starvation all times in cheating poised righteous. they esp. targeted against my cyberspace asset growth. with the timely year end bonus I renewed partially our domains ownership and vpn service. since PRC now prohibits foreign currency credit card, then the act to regret or takeback of transaction or payment already committed in 24 hour, all aiming reinforce dictative power to control my purchase overseas. even among my renewal of zhone domains, my old methods, inc Visa/Mastercard credit card and paypal, both failed. the former due my icbc credit diluted its facility to zero after debt clearance and resumed usability in the end of freezing months, esp. USD account refuses any credit expense, while depositing USD like debit as the ICBC clerk told me to do before use in situation of tightest credit limit tentative troublesome, during shrinking CNY and harsher American dollar trade monitoring. the latter failed many times strangely last month, even I changed setting to allow paypal direct conversion between USD payment and CNY. my paypal account likely under PRC surveillance, for recently it blocked my logon several times and strangely selective upon vpn usage. I called its Beijing HQ to fix login problem but never know why it as well as my icbc credit card bundled failing to pay even I have CNY deposit in account. in a word, my renewal of some zhone domains already a mirage of sudden. God, dad, I concern so much the operative of overseas purchase that I hardly feeling ease after the successful one. grant us freedom of personal finance, our investment on cyberspace. grant us 3rd flight tour hometown during crisis when my credit debt record potentially deprives us from booking airline tickets in sinking PRC's mounting insane national civil control.

But on the purchased gifts, we did gain happiness. woz cheers up for the garden warfare 2, after its previous version release impressed him and long so long after new release half year. we bought garden war 1 from humblebundle.com at discount, and since then our game base ever increasing. after switched Traditional Chinese, woz can't wait after I left in his mom, a small bitch's curse upon our gathering, and buzzed me when I on way returning my dorm, on his progress in the game. his house's internet under so smothering surveillance that I last week had to fetch his game notebook to my dorm to download our new bought games even much slower while stable, and a full work week compensates the traffic load. his ISP, China railtel an subsidiary of Chinamobile, shamelessly intervened thousand times daily and ruined his vpn severe. God, dad, we at least have our fun now, more concrete than the elapsing reality sad in sinking PRC, literally dog's prey. dad, God, lives us an even brighter 2017 and lunar spring festival reunion hometown.

Category: lifesteam 

Tags: life, zhone, rite, finance, gift, growth 

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