benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | July 21, 2017

dreamt in my hometown in a camp. first our village under huge refurnish for tourism. my dearest passed dad, mom, both appeared in dream. there was a town hall just under my dad's old house and in a row of houses there was performance and performers from nearby villagers. there were herd of visitors. then found I was in a travel delegation, in which quite some photographers members, inc girls. we managed to lift ourselves via a lever to higher level. in our team there was a girl film fan closely collaborated with me and we almost led to friend. my sinful elder cousin of my uncle's family, who worked for government long time, again in his separation and kept aside from our villager's ongoing emerging new business. its a sleepy morning. I felt...

By: benzrad | May 26, 2017

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free.
God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.


woz at his 12 years birthday.

By: benzrad | April 09, 2017

dreamt first shared dorm with an once QRRS colleague who is a photographer. he is a gay in dream and spying me. anything of him will convey gay sensation when I touch them. then dream in a TV cuisine competition. I was a candidate and my dish too slippery to stand vegetables in decoration. I was in hurry and failed many times. then once my boss, QRRS cable TV chief editorial who died in mid age, pointed out the cause impersonally. when I almost gave up my works, I woke up and in anxious of visiting my son weekend on time.
last week is a strange week testifying relation of my son woz and me, his dad. on Monday which also in lunar Mourning holiday we booked cinema as usual together. that had been shifted a day for all PRC people gathering 3 ...

By: benzrad | February 10, 2017

my 3rd flight tour with dearest son, woz, never comes easy. credit debt crisis put me in danger of deprive of airline or any other enjoyable high speed travel. I also itched to demonstrate my hometown folks, who mostly just fed and car friended, entertainment of video game, large mirror screen extends mobile source, and computing everywhere, with which mostly I experienced with aid of my dear credit card in 2015, if the travel means happy together. I also anxious about our first package dispatching experience with airline, will batteries banned? will my acer chromebook, my 2nd parcel, not allowed to bring with us? will gamepads survive compacted space? will our dell notebook, which near 6 years old, service us as main wifi throughout GFW? m...

Category: lifesteam 

Tags: life, rite, gift, WOZ 

By: benzrad | December 05, 2016

woz with his favorite game, PvZ: garden warfare 2, newly bought from origin store, at home.
woz with his favorite game, PvZ: garden warfare 2, newly bought from origin store, at home.

thx QRRS, this year's year end bonus arrived earlier 2 months. with the aid I timely updated my family platform game library, inc woz's origin game "PvZ:garden warware 2 deluxe", my 3 steam games I almost played through on their pirate version from web, ie. "mask of Ninja", "enemy frontline", "zombies trilogy". after these years I more and more prone to work when alone, lack suitable mood for video games. my son under my influence either drifting from pc games, just mobile games let him lingering on his android devices. sinking PRC these days concocted lots of financial laws against personal financial freedom, trying prevent civil expenditure and establishment via investment. they mean cheap, wanting, torment and starvation all times in cheating poised righteous. they esp. targeted against my cyberspace asset growth. with the timely year end bonus I renewed partially our domains ownership and vpn service. since PRC now prohibits foreign currency credit card, then the act to regret or takeback of transaction or payment already committed in 24 hour, all aiming reinforce dictative power to control my purchase overseas. even among my renewal of zhone domains, my old methods, inc Visa/Mastercard credit card and paypal, both failed. the former due my icbc credit diluted its facility to zero after debt clearance and resumed usability in the end of freezing months, esp. USD account refuses any credit expense, while depositing USD like debit as the ICBC clerk told me to do before use in situation of tightest credit limit tentative troublesome, during shrinking CNY and harsher American dollar trade monitoring. the latter failed many times strangely last month, even I changed setting to allow paypal direct conversion between USD payment and CNY. my paypal account likely under PRC surveillance, for recently it blocked my logon several times and strangely selective upon vpn usage. I called its Beijing HQ to fix login problem but never know why it as well as my icbc credit card bundled failing to pay even I have CNY deposit in account. in a word, my renewal of some zhone domains already a mirage of sudden. God, dad, I concern so much the operative of overseas purchase that I hardly feeling ease after the successful one. grant us freedom of personal finance, our investment on cyberspace. grant us 3rd flight tour hometown during crisis when my credit debt record potentially deprives us from booking airline tickets in sinking PRC's mounting insane national civil control.

But on the purchased gifts, we did gain happiness. woz cheers up for the garden warfare 2, after its previous version release impressed him and long so long after new release half year. we bought garden war 1 from humblebundle.com at discount, and since then our game base ever increasing. after switched Traditional Chinese, woz can't wait after I left in his mom, a small bitch's curse upon our gathering, and buzzed me when I on way returning my dorm, on his progress in the game. his house's internet under so smothering surveillance that I last week had to fetch his game notebook to my dorm to download our new bought games even much slower while stable, and a full work week compensates the traffic load. his ISP, China railtel an subsidiary of Chinamobile, shamelessly intervened thousand times daily and ruined his vpn severe. God, dad, we at least have our fun now, more concrete than the elapsing reality sad in sinking PRC, literally dog's prey. dad, God, lives us an even brighter 2017 and lunar spring festival reunion hometown.

Category: lifesteam 

Tags: life, zhone, rite, finance, gift, growth 



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