benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | June 13, 2017

Jun 13, 2017

a relaxing dream in which I visited my artist friends in Tianjin art college. at first I dreamt with BianQiong, my Tibet painter friend, and his friend. they live in dorm like a family. then shifted to a house near gate and some of those students there working and chatting. I using English with a friend from my hometown neighbor county, who is humble and treated me well during my visited BianQiong in vacation, so the moment didn't paid him enough attentions but kindness felt. he sometimes mixed with my impression on another guy in the art college who also attracted me with his able attitude. we chatted in English but my English seemingly not fluent enough and sometimes the students there in the house perceived it. its a peaceful...

By: benzrad | May 12, 2017

sunshine May 2017

May 12, 2017 

firstly dreamt likely in airport lounge, I with my son in queue for aboard. then it broke for awhile to let cargo unload. its likely railway cargo, emergent quilts and pillows for distressed people in problematic situation. once the queue restored, the conductor persuaded us buying sapling on the way, instead of brought it from hometown to destiny, for former mostly more resilient. after peed and returned to bed, I dreamt with my old family, relatives. we criticized each other, we enjoyed chatters, we are family. esp my mean nephew, ie. only son of my passed eldest sister who committed suicide in her mid age decades ago, who is so mean that defied my small loan request several times. we disappointed by counterpart but stil...

Category: blog 

Tags: site, zhone, rite, finance, gift, growth 

By: benzrad | April 10, 2017

Apr 10, 2017

dreamt of the family of my cousin, ie. husband of my mother's niece. I once liked his 2nd daughter who was tall and slender. but long time works in farm worn out her hands which drove me away from her in my senior middle school summer vacation and never return. I saw her new family in dream. her dad, a communist cadre in his village, a selfish impetus driver for many children even complied others to abide one child policy, invented or bought to connect his family with his offspring's family, and his properties with wire. the wire likely controlled digitally. I saw just dial "home to farm" and the 2 place linked and can communicate online. I still felt warm with the girl and her sisters and her child. then dreamt I made...

Category: blog 

Tags: zhone, rite, crisis, choice, growth, WOZ 

By: benzrad | March 20, 2017

Mar 18, 2017

at first dreamt of Emma Watson whose private photos leaked on web. I enjoy amazing sex with her. then dreamt I arrange my son woz to be trained by instrumental music under old traditional musician likely from QRRS art troupe which includes an old man and woman each. then in Mao's era he or we sent to western China to re-educate. we passed through dangerous Yellow River which threaten its bank area. we arrived northwestern China and planted a tree from our hometown. then dreamt I trained my son or myself badminton. I long time easily mimic serving but response speed far from satisfying when dealing or rebound. in dream I wonder if I just lack boring but heavy exercises or real expertise coached. this week again especially busy. I setup google authenticator app for our frequent google accounts 2 step verification. for sms verification less convenient and less secure in which each time informs PRC surveillance my logon. GFW heavily blocked my operation first place, once lagged me more than half hour to load an authentication code page, forced me to retreat mid way for dinner. but next day I did it again without pains. yesterday dabbog.com backend web app updated by godaddy hosting automatically, but it broke and halt the site. when I tried to fix it, I again heavily blocked. loading loops, irresponsible webpage, etc. I left its breakdown open possible vulnerable well known and went jog after dinner. in the night after dinner, I fixed it with less human pests, while again my restored sites less accessible on my dorm internet, but web proxy testifies its soundness. my facing dorm room has new residents. a young guy frequently loose its door and shown himself on the deeper bed busy in the leaking light. I doubting if he welcome visitors or exchange of neighborhood, or just convenient to spy me. but my internet these days actually under harsher surveillance and intervenes amid. but this week not all sad, I sorted our google voice assets and prepared to make good use of them. I deploy more google or google apps accounts for maintain their gvoice in use. now salary will arrive days, God dad, grant me freedom to recharge our accounts for smooth operative. grant me financial freedom for coming laundry bill to woman in dorm canteen, ¥200. I also badly need trousers with mobile pocket for my son and my own. dad God, godaddy hosting plan soon needs renewal. and I usually penniless before year end bonus. get me out of the dangerous situation, dad God, bring my cyberspace startup with my other concerns peacefully onto faezrland, our vested land from my ancestor under Holy. bring it with bliss and breeze.

Mar 11, 2017

first dreamt in highly dense space, human crowd with dense snakes. those baby snakes in every atom of air, or liquid, like spray. that's quite shockingly frightening. they didn't bite but terrifying. then dreamt my son and his mom's family. I likely returned from long journey and urged his mom to restore normal life. the woman and her mom recognized our previous marriage hopelessly sank. they arranged extraordinary a meal to farewell. when I prepare tea, I found many large strong black ants busy moving in the jar neck. its again such a shocking scene I almost lose clinch to the jar. they all likely concerns the first time handover of my laundry deal with dorm canteen woman. last week when I visited my son and brought him to shower in public shared bathroom, I found my dirty clothes a week there was not washed. the small woman several times threatened not to wash my clothes even I offered her monthly ¥150 many months but recently due to credit crisis I asked permission to indebted her. so this time I thought ripe to be more independent. I informed my son the new expense and he agreed. returned to dorm, I headed to dorm canteen where the woman in charge of preparing food materials right there for ordering. I discussed the possibility to pay her to wash my clothes. she first defied, with encouragement from the executive woman, she accept my proposal of increased ¥50 to ¥200/month. last Friday dusk, before I dined there, the executive woman fetched me the washed clothes, our first deal sealed, except my payment. for penniless, I asked the woman loan me ¥200 for visiting my son weekends. then she told me my recent months bill with canteen didn't settle, for my kid brother promised to pay remote instead of me in his last year's visit now evaded by him. I previously called him to pay my online shopping but my phone number likely blacklisted and redirected. so I never knew what's going on with him. the woman said she sms my brother but never responded. I told her I visioned I lost my brother's aid but I never equipped financially to save the situation, so I didn't probe my due payment in canteen any more. the woman disliked my answer so I promised will call my brother in the night. on jogging after dinner, I buzzed my 3rd elder sister and hope she check our kid brother's status, she accepted the task. when I went to toilet for toothbrush hours later, I saw the canteen worker woman washing there. I told her I will pay her as soon as I get my salary this month, ie. 2 weeks later. she replied no hurry cordially. God dad, I know it will be OK after all, but the situation now really draining. this week I also try web tutorial to setup selective vpn routing to escape PRC main sites' discriminating foreign ips, but so far failed. in so many programs I benefited from online communities discussions, now I have to cope it on my own for solution. I tried to contact vpn support team but out of their service scope and denied help. I also contact godaddy PRC office girl last time helped me with discount, for unknown renewal price increase, evasive conversations sucks in grudge. this week makes me sad when I last night reviewed it, but also affirm my determination to sit with them, those deny of service, and breakthrough on my own. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my cultivation here, bring me my new family and hope of stepping out of adversity here. bring me learning ability in every stages in my life. bring me my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to better my children's life. in a few hours I will visit my son, in your mercy our joys will double.

Mar 2, 2017

dreamt of genius. dreamt my elder brothers, hometown folks, once leaders in QRRS, all turned old. I passed them who playing Majiang together and felt sad. then myself turns older and unbearable intelligent work. then a cheap soul like CCP cadre invents sculpturing on glass with color, replace paint on it manuscript or oil print. its merit is clear and vivid in 3D, but cost is material wasted once solid inscribed, not reusable. I wondered CCP administrative manner, reckless and environment unfriendly. then dream the inventor, a guy super genius: he needn't backup hardware settings, like I backup system images and important data times and relentlessly, he talks directly to hardware binary likes operates software in GUI. later he talked directly to a goat, let it be friend with me and my son. the goat hears and got it. yesterday woz's new trousers I ordered on taobao.com, for redeem my guilty in scorning him for no due respect of new broadband internet I installed him, arrived, for its deliverer, yto.com, well organized in its arena, really speedy. but what we demand, pocket for cellphone, not exists on the trousers, instead, a fake pocket without depth but just a zip for decoration. my son complained carrying smartphone in his jacket pocket can be clogging, and loathes to bring a new cheaper Chinese cellphone I prepared him all day long. returned to dorm, I tried to contact the taobao vendor. the site, taobao.com, quite discriminates its web service users, even punishing non client end app users, from geographic restriction to frequently failing web login or web im whose protocol solely supports itself. I switched 3 computers, from chromeos to android to windows, its im quits on all 3 platforms while previously it works sometimes. I lately find the vendor's mobile phone and settled replacing with new one our required pocket satisfied. I really need a cellphone pocketed trousers prices ¥80, too, but we just can't afford it now even its beneficence obvious and goodness predicts. in the night I watched a youtube documentary on world economic bubble burst emerging. that reminds my vision, Christian contrasts other poverty pestered world like PRC nowadays, or even total bankrupt wasteland, esp Islamic area, their competition lasts thousand years. government bailout grows larger and severer, esp Communist bureaucratic central predating system propagates its efficiency among fooled mouths decades smothering, but America has to cope with challenges from cheap human society's crowd, the bubble of wastes, esp eastern Asia and Islamic states. its time to show who is the chosen. now time for Trump to discipline US and get rid of cheap mob's siege. time for beautiful new One world of Christian, around Israel. time to manifest the world developmental power is not cheap human cattle's clouds, nor cheap dictation in Communism, nor terrorist Muslim. only Christian the life of prosperous, the source of plenty, the due grace God grants. time to clean the planet with AI and robots, time to rid earth off cheap human beings and beast alike terrorist, both too rampant and waste of land and air. this is new mission for Trump, also mission of my Royal China of China Empire reset ahead then lasting 1109 years in democracy and capitalism. this is salvage and gospel of the Son.

Feb 28, 2017

At first I lingered gladly in tiny houses, likely with my 2nd elder sister, likely in Japan. then found one of my 3 smartphones missing. in panic I searched everywhere. then using its GPS location found the stealer address. the 2 phone number is mathematical linked: sim card 1 number is added to number 2 card. I really can't afford losing them. then many details on exact secret on the phones and their numbers. just in panic I woke up and recognized in reality my phones all on my desk intact. back to dream I still felt the panic painful. yesterday is fruitful, I published monthly blog release. I watched amazon TV and close watch small woman unstable emotionally broke her husband career and her own life which is totally reckless and hopeless in ruins. I wondered bitch in my life, my son's mom, desperate to hurt, means what for her destiny. the tiny dog steps by steps went insane. my son after a day didn't enable his indoor WIFI, likely under his mad mother's ban. last week I got a surprising gain from QRRS, my once and long time employer, ¥1000. I immediately renew woz's 8 domains with it, left 3 expensive domains for next renewal will costs near ¥2000. God, dad, its a bit dearer since last year, but godaddy China office girl actually privileged me by contacting me and helping me finish the order with coupon unavailable public. dad God, please allow us owning our namespace as family heritage lasting millenniums. I want share them with my offspring! grant us financial freedom to pay the domain registrar. and please grant us to keep our amazon associate account. we had been ditched once for poor websites traffic. I had to mend all amazon ad code among my sites to link with our new trackID. that's too boring and heavy load to sustain. grant us minimum interactive rate amazon requires to sustain our membership of its ad associate. dad God, remove us blockage the small bitch laid between my son and me. show my son, woz, the future world he pivots. bring me sooner my Royal China to extinguish hatred rage, rip us off the dirty family of my son's mom and herself. put us in sanctuary of holy mercy, and sole independence under the dome without divided. thx for the peace in the morning, God.
China Regalbum
hard meal with full heart thanksgiving.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | February 27, 2017

Feb 27, 2017

dreamt 2 or 3 my privileged senior middle school alumni. Zhu Zehua, who's technical subjects usually score quite high, and some others long time no see. we cooperate and compete to produce rebellion weapons. we also compete intelligently. we passed my hometown dam, spring well with crowd among which we escape enemy's hunting. this week a bit sad. gay in neighbor dorm room desperate stalks me. surveillances my usage of toilet and follows to shit and leave it unflushed. the sickened soul pretends coughing for quite some time and he should dies in illness. my son's mom, the small bitch also tried her best to challenge me. they mimic my son's monthly cinema day and invited her mom to go cinema the night before my gathering day with my son. all her knowledge is outdated and poor quality but still she day by day gathering pupils at her house for tuition. one of her girl friend whose father lent me camera when my son given birth at hospital found some old photos of my son in the hospital agrees to send me those precious photos but now hold back by the bitch, son's mom, for a bargain. my son yesterday irritated me and I had to give him a lesson. we previously agreed that our new broadband was a bliss holy and we should make good usage. but on Sunday when I went to see him, he even didn't power on broadband router in his house, but just reading paper book of rephrased Chinese classic, A Dream of RED Mansions. I went mad with his ignorance. I show brutal violent threat and scorned him for near half hour in cause of his failing VPN and system update. I didn't mean hurts but remind him his work, his future indispensable with high tech including internet, while his mom and his grandma actually not equipped it, for their cheap work mainly related with primitive tools. my son show resolve when we went for lunch out and shower, even after I bought him extra fruits. on way returning to my dorm, I pray God to let it the hard time for us to defeat, to slaughter our enemies by hand and will. I beg Holy rewards us thicker after the adversity and allow us to stick out of the dark curtain and smile. in the night I felt guilty upon my son, and boring and sad for shopping online. I bought my son a spring trousers with cellphone pocket. I also ordered myself one but run out of money. so I entreated my kid brother to pay. but the contemptible man enlist my phone number into his blacklist to evade confrontation. God, let me remember the revengeful shame sinful people insult us, the glorious One. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the eastern Asia. bring me sooner Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan for peace among our heritage, our once more glory covers half pacific ocean. grant us memories of retaliation.

Feb 16, 2017

the day before yesterday I worked overnight. then yesterday I felt inspiration in ladies fulfilled my heart. I admire them so much, and sympathetic to their pleasure seeking and concerns while none of them lives in my life in past decade. in the night I dreamt first played with kids. then among a kindergarten, I with my men with shotguns played with kids crossword puzzle. we shoot to answer. then I likely a royal captain of firearm brigade, operated them in war field where fire distance matters. after wake up I wonder the small figure in dream is Napoleon, who relentless with war fire till saw his own failure and death after challenge Russian, the iced land. I saw relentless love attempts for his concerned, esp women in his life, in prescribed relief of embrace of death against doomed premature failure. I felt dizzy after morning alarm. even breakfast in canteen is satisfying, I still trying finding nap after settle here my workload. last afternoon bankcomm clearance crew buzzed in, show their interest to interview. there is nothing new in their probation. they impotently demanded me return at once my credit debt of ¥10000 while It clearly out of possibility in my situation, in which recent 3 months steadily returning, ¥2000 paid every salary day. in the mid after found their only aim is to intimidate me, I claimed they incapable to negotiate with me, for there is nothing valuable or granting policy in their holding card, so I arbitrarily quit the conversation. my work space just resumed, I enjoyed my favorite Chinese podcasts, and Amazon prime video in the rest of the day. God dad, last Monday after my ICBC monthly credit statement revealed ¥700 left under account, I immediately renew zhone 19th domain, billingzhu.com for my 2nd son, to its longest life span, 5 years for ¥511. dad God, there is only one thing unfinished in 2016 as annual, woz's 12 domains renewal. grant us financial freedom to do the job. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my offspring. bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan, to home my new family. bring 2017 new monument for ever growing mission to revitalize eastern Asia, for the grace and persistent commitment of Chinese and Japanese for thousand years forged in Ming Dynasty under my ancestor's title, Zhu's. thx dad God, for the snowing night yesterday and this morning so quiet in sober.

Feb 10, 2017

dreamt of complicated time space pair. after 2 busy days at dorm, heat gathered in central China gradually melt. my nose ran water a lot, and shit softly, too. last night I perceived erotic dream drove by full sperms, but in fact I didn't wet last night. rather, in dream I got insight of time-space tangle. I saw a dynasty broke down and lots of strange behaviors, like soldier don't know who to obey, court women don't know how to survive in riot era. I saw my Nankai alumni went class while I drift wild. I saw when time dissolves, events in space can be floating around, losing their sequence. the result and the cause in different time location can't be replaced, otherwise there will be forecast, in time travel paradox. these days hard economy again pestered me. I only gain a much shrinked ¥3000 in 2016 as year end bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, comparing near ¥7000 in 2015. a policy gain, aid for poor staff, ¥1000 offered to me by labor union. I handed over to dorm canteen at once, and next day I had to borrow ¥200 again for living expense. now I have debt ¥1000 to local contacts, and my anual renewal of zhone domains yet complete. ¥2000 will do the job like a breeze. then again every month I will fight for dinning out twice a week with my son woz for gathering, and my pills will add another ¥100. in the 3rd hometown flight tour, I almost broke up with my kid brother who contempts me and cheats me into endless waiting his aid. now my salary, at its best around ¥3000, barely afford our lifestyle including credit debt penalty. but, God, how I lucky in such failing economy maintaining such a small burden of investment! and watch the grand produce of my endeavour and willful. God, dad, I see so many affirmatives in holy message. please firmly attach me onto faith of Christian. bring me sooner my Royal China to fasten the falling treasure. bring me Asoh Yukiko to put together the Empire dream and stipulation. grant me financial independence to safeguard our startup so strong online.

Jan 31, 2017

the night before yesterday I gave my son a lesson, for he too open and vulnerable upon cheap offers. this night I felt blessed when we ready to sleep. I first dreamt in art college saw many students and computers running a software likely robohelp or tin?in. its a series tools including 3d modeling, illustration, and presentation. in dream I felt glad to fetch my pastime skill and sharpen them. I felt that would more or less let me more energetic. then in my hometown village, facing neighbor village there are 2 modern office malls where once rice field. many small companies rent space there and share introduction multimedia, project management or progress report online there. I still dwelling on the robohelp and thought about app as service, or the functions of presentation. I tried hard to sync our data or put our running data into the app. the detail of program very lengthy in dream, even cross the intervene of getting up to pee. 2 days ago I finally got informed that our train ticket booked, after more than 60000 times bidding online by our travel agency, ctrip.com. so last unease resolved and we really needn't hurry, just as holy affirmed. my son once repulsive upon my teasing infant of my nephew's, a 16 month old boy, after I told him why I glad to help infant with empowering them with full heart support, he forgave me and I thankful for his considerate. his willful pal, the grandson of my 2nd elder sister, also quit hijacking my son with all flattery. I also openly talked about fault of my 2nd elder sister whose family less attractive and colder in heart, with her husband and daughter-in-law. the daughter-in-law is a slim tall woman with adorable configure and I tried to help her when she loathe to chores. I hope they don't pitfall like some of my relatives. after all, we are family from my passed grand father, God in heaven now. this is a sunny morning with clouds. hopeful it will more shiny later. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my offspring, to guest my concerned. bring me financial independence to liberate some of my relatives trapped in wrong idea and habit. grant me adequate fund to renew our domains, the last task unfilled upon new year 2017.
 Regalbum
spring snow in Qiqihar where the center of future territory of eastern Asia stands fautless. here snow scene of QRRS Dorm.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, finance, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

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