benzrad, 华中朱子卓
朱本主子卓日美。

By: benzrad | January 13, 2018

Jan 13, 2018

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen operative woman, a staff of the canteen to whom my laundry outsourced. Its normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine from the operative woman & handed over ¥5 as reward. I just want to be joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once experienced when in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray for my peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3 bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I quit curiosity at once, as none of my business in that moment of probing mind. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her show cheating me out her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me, but I just reckoned him among QRRS workers once known me for I worked once in their factories soon after I employed, and never lingered more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding away in my jog, the man stealthily pushed his way aside me arbitrarily, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him as passenger ask for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward at once exiled, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, claimed he noticed my usual route against normal people's there exercise, trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then scattered again. I never looked him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior. From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's life, and those of out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement, new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook evolvement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw fighting area on their functional dissected deck. When my son & I almost purchased the notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan. Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over our adorable domains, ie renewal.

Jan 4, 2018

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime in risk to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even dangerous but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife from peasants labor flood there. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

Jan 1, 2018

first dreamt in school. the subject of experiment is to distill starch from stem, for final bean curd or jelly separated from paper tissue. then found I was studying my Doctor degree course. my old family members mostly proud of me. I likely in vacation and visiting my old family's relatives at hometown, Zhudajiu village or local municipal, Wuxue. then found my purse missing. I was very concerned. then my 2 elder sisters help me search in fields for it. we exam carefully every inch of earth, hoping find it back. I was so distressed that I woke up for it and found at once I didn't miss it, but now I can't figure out how my property safe in reality while when I just exit from dream, I know dreamy concern dissolved.
This is first day of 2018. after 3 hours I will bring my son to dine out in Qiqihar downtown via groupon and aid financially by alipay credit. the holiday approached so quietly that I didn't prepare. I barely borrow ¥150 for usual weekend reuniting my son from QRRS Dorm canteen. after found my mistake, I search web carefully using the virtual credit to buy service online to make ends meet. in half day I setup alipay, Meituan on my raspberry pi and ordered 3 meals in cyberspace. yesterday we dined dico's franchise. on bus I prayed God allowing our coupon working and our holiday won't run short of cash. when we got there, there were not crowd. our groupon handled perfectly. we enjoy the meal so much. in fact, my deficit of meat healed quickly. I told my son Warren Buffett advises that youth should refrain from debt, and how Taiwan people inspire me, including dico's service. I urged him we are blessed to visit the franchise more frequent for it's just in its wane due to PRC economic hard problem, and eroded customer base among both richer Chinese and average Chinese family, for expenditure power just wears away in sinking PRC. I felt lucky to be served by the fast food chain in time when it's still graceful, and sale girls still so decent. I also told my son how I satisfied by my charity activity to offer a laid-off motorcycle worker begging for his hard life alongside street, on way my visiting my son, with ¥5: how its cost efficient & my emotional sanctified. after luncheon, we hangout in RT-Mart for my shampoo & toothpaste. my son definitely refused buying goods for him. so we only spend about 60 CNY there, among heavy carts and long queue of people at checkout. dad God, this week I will arrange installment with alipay credit. promise us smooth operation, grant us to complete paying back credit in time in coming year 2018. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my lonely post mid age. grant us more offspring, esp Billing Zhu 's role in anticipated capable of billing, harmony with the Holy. God dad, in this pale morning, You ignite me with this post, let 2018 burning brighter & enlightened.

Dec 25, 2017

dreamt at my hometown village my passed mother sent me among other new enrolled undergraduates into college. my 2nd elder sister also prepared my package at home. there were near dozen of youth passed the entrance exam & enrolled. my nephew, ie. my 2nd elder brother's first son, also the lucky one. I query the richer family's kid, if he travel by airline. most kid will go to their campus via train, while I already had experience by air with my son recent years which let me proud, but I likely took train for poor economy. most of the village kids carried rice in bag. my family also prepared me rice in bag for dispatching, but I managed to persuade my relatives gave up for campus canteen does offer the food. it's touching moment for my elder brother's children never complete their senior education in reality.
This is a cloudy morning. I at first felt gloomy, for last week I refrained from my son's anticipated joy of new SWAT suit, and a new pair of boots amid our cyber shopping. but my son likely didn't feel it, at least he didn't refute the spitting coward, the grandma's scorn of coat's qualifies being heavier from put on at once the new clothes' arrival, and also his new boots didn't put on right & sluggy for he didn't leave the high ankle standing, likely his mom & grandma refused guiding him. our only meal together in a week, in the downtown hotel restaurant, also disappointing for it cheatingly remove our once ordered dish with rich meat, replaced with poor quality & quantity meat, after some relentless exchange viewpoint upon our insisted tips for the gorgeous dining hall & cuisine in months. that reminded me time to shift away now that our tips left the hotel boss at a loss. but fortunately our salon buzzed in half hour ago, the shop owner settled our missing renewal in July & admit our membership extends nearly 5 months, values ¥200 after dispute arose last week. that affirms my faith in goodness, understandability of hearts. God, dad, even this month salary removed near ¥400 from usual standard, I still believe year end bonus will surprise me. now new year day of 2018 just a week away, and this wonderful christmas, dad God, reinforce us with plentiness and supportive, remove vain in our materialism seasonal heart. grant me treating my son in next weekend KFC or Mcdonald's or Dico's. shelter us from needy & wanting, instead warm us by powerful & functional of our new gears, esp from US & google. thx Dad.

Category: blog 

Tags: life, love, growth, dream, AsohYukiko, God 

By: benzrad | December 22, 2017

Dec 19, 2017

dreamt being friend of an English noble family, or Japanese host, ie their 2 boys and only daughter. first the boys showed me their real estate, and traditional kid practices around & in trench of their castle, which so beautiful, with yard and fence, and harvesting field with peasants nearby. I commented British buildings usually round shape while Chinese commodity residential block usually in slice alike. they also showed me their parties. then their only sister returned. the girl likely an artist, she put on me new shirt & introduced me to her party. when I prepared to performance and jumping from 2nd floor balcony to hall ground over awaiting crowd, my alarm woke me up. it's a warm dream, without pressure, esp the da...

By: benzrad | November 09, 2017

Nov 9, 2017

dreamt of a podcasting event. the host likely recent hot leaker, Guo wengui (@KwokMiles), who revealed lots of dark scandals of CCP high ranks. the first version was cancelled and the Guo decided to remake. a new van pulled in, likely as an award for the publish, but its tire is half empty. I among other volunteers push the van to podcasting stage. I also handle the microphone, wire connection, recording etc. yesterday really overwhelmingly elated. a planned event aid by my elder brother realized: renew woz's dearest domain, woz.fm for 2 more years now that migration to new registrar who support 4 years ahead to subscribe. our first registrar, godaddy forbidden more than a year to renew the domain, so every year I was anxious about it, and last year I actually paid more for the domain after it entered recovery mode strangely before expire date. also, the domain under icann's administrative increases price $25 since next month. so I badly want to save the ¥500 before new renewal charge complies. I never thought I would raise money from my hometown relatives who mostly live average lives. but God know its OK. my kid brother who has a small mill & bought 2 large houses, dishonored me bitchily each time I ask for loan, did same lest my another aid request. but my 2nd elder brother, my childhood main adversity and in recent years whose contribution to our old family, esp his favorite fishing skill brought more colorful meals in our old family times, warmed my heart and turned me into gratitude, and started to appreciate his loneliness & self-efficacy. this time he touched by my cause & urged my kid brother leased the loan from his own proxy, even his family was not so wealthy to loan me. God dad, now I gained loans from both my sisters and brothers, each ¥1200. 2017 designated to be blessing, like yesterday's shallow snow here. God dad, grant me growing our fortitude against harsher siege PRC surveillance setup us. let my ancestor's gift and needed support reach us in time coming years. let copycat tyrant missing in frustration. bring holy glories shinily on earth. bring me Royal China and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko to broaden my life entrenched so far here from limelight & sufficiency.

Nov 2, 2017

this post designated to be brief: I just want to report my satisfaction yesterday and today. yesterday I blogged without dream's escort and narration went smooth. this dawn I dreamt my temporary habitat in a remote place, say northwestern China. I managed a lot and barely got aboard, on train or airline, to Harbin, my current provincial capital. near last stop I found my destiny far from Harbin where almost half China apart from central China, my hometown. so intensive triumph turned half completed in fact & overestimated, I didn't regret but knew new journey ahead homecoming. then I woke up from vivid dawn sureal. yesterday I posted among boring, pale reality without nutritious dream. I contented with my work and avoid lunch. dining time I felt rewarding, and all female local people I concern shown in daily jog refreshing outside around QRRS square. their kindness leaves me supplement to complacency. after settled in dorm and TV time began, my kodi under heavy surveillance. search result of my favorite episode appeared but playing back abrupt quit before rolling up. still I harvested via youtube which much readier accessible. I learned current world affairs, some situation in China first hand there unmistakable. I also enabled gzip on my web server for speedier page load, after google reports test result on my site performance via gmail promotion. that's really nice to boost my site for greater audience. I have no other means to improve our voice, Royal China's emerging gospel, for world and our people beside this tiny technology. God dad, I really enchanted by podcasts' companion all day long during deadly siege by PRC tyranny, thx for the commodity, grant us freedom of voice & informative stream on base of poverty prevails mainland China with dying surge of ghost communism. bring me sooner my Royal China to broaden national. bring our Christmas day gift on time and cure our need of support of our living as well as investment in cyberspace. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to extend my life folded so many years alone. dad God, let me resilient as usual.

Nov 1, 2017

Its a sunny golden autumn morning. in the week I hardly in detailed dream, but still I felt so blessed. internet in PRC tightened much since the ccp congress. ai powered surveillance periodically disabled my internet upon triggered key word or something other incurred self-posed punishment. it can be dozen times in an hour. quite boring and spiteful. in the beginning of last week I almost thought I will be idle totally, but then on Wednesday I saw tasks: reinforce zhone dynamic sites with ssl from let's encrypt, a website promotes ssl worldwide with its free certificates issued more than thousands hundred copies. dabbog.com backend webapp also need update after near 2 weeks delay since its official update. I contacted godaddy hosting but the support crew made it clear that as a main upgrade godaddy will free itself responsibility but let my alone to do the update lest failure of lost. I loathed to join security tasks for I lack hacker experience and IT security training. after a day scrutinized the operational I launched near dinner time to upgrade my site, and smoothly done in an hour. it really cheers me up with new confidence in server management. next day I prepare ssl upgrade. I previously thought cert installation is the core problem, but soon I was detained by domain ownership verification hours. for one of my registrar's dns strangely didn't support root level text record, I have to single out a domain under the registrar for single certificate. then I got my first let's encrypt cert installed for 3 domains verified by dns txt record. cost some more time google web server's .htaccess hacking not to block file upload to server for verification, the another ownership of verification method adopted smoothly and 2nd let's encrypt cert installed. both likely least cost while my option one is server extension installation which has more impacts on linux os. its really marvelous to see zhone sites' ssl green & formally. since my first website on google cloud my ssl which is self-signed, never independent without malware's precaution and more click through before homepage load out. I also spend little more time to rip off http source of header & footer images to ensure full site ssl. in the weekend, ie Sunday, I demonstrated my work narrowly done in Saturday to my son, woz. my site traffic also booming recently, thanks God and faith we beholding. now its another Wednesday aimlessly, God dad, bless us with some engagements. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, for family & homage. grant us year end bonus to sustain my small investment online, and our business never so prominent in China history.

Oct 21, 2017

dreamt enter university again. the day is opening school day. I with other enrolled youth led to our school and dorm. through scenery natural hill, we passed through crowd parents to get seat in our campus. lately I carried my son explained to crowd what's philosophy in my view and why I study in university gain. my anxiety of dorm wet and over jammed disappeared at destiny chamber and I won friendship from alumni, includes alumna. my explanation turned like public speech, by which even myself moved. yesterday is salary day. I got ¥3060, 200 less than last month. even so, I arranged my monthly reunite my son in my dorm after cinema. transfering 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot almost done. dynadot home website online chat did wonderful support work. after 4 or 5 contacts including with godaddy support via land phone, I informed by dynadot crew that .io since 2017 July refuse in its whois database stores registrant information. so my long time dissatisfaction with godaddy for its hiding my registrant info with .io sponsor organization is not their fault but limitation of newly incursion. in review my smooth transfer I left positive comment on godaddy facebook page praising their gracious service. the comment arose comments at once. some of them questioned if I was godaddy's post bot. last night I read an article how insane Chinese parents flattered their kids' teacher mischief in their teacher and parent social circle via wechat, a PRC mainstream social app, and despise other parents' lawful requests for their kid's privilege like mobile not be seizure by school authority, bargain for favor of teacher. most poor Chinese just too feeble & coerced confronting organizations. that's why when I contact service providers in cyberspace I prone to be thankful even they are within my privilege: I am afraid to be punished for dispute with legal person. that reminds me long time in PRC society legal person stamp on nature person in lawless reality in socialism, and why PRC Chinese made their society a hell of institutional crime swarm: indifferent bureaucracy, warded gangster groups behaviors, shameless prey, brutal bully, hate & cry for others' transparency esp free media of voices. these characters all led to tyranny, like most mid-east countries where poorest & most violent led civilian only option, to exile. most PRC Chinese want to be a leader in an organization, for costless or at least cost efficient gains, just try to manipulate a puppet & behind curtain. and most forceful puppet is national army, largest dog or monster the tyrant invent to rein constitutionally, at cost of national surrender and sacrifice. that's the reasonable consequence of a society prefers superman/trojan horse, ie legal person to nature human. I at first thought I got the hidden truth about Chinese failure, and its cure, Capitalism, but then I saw more insane is extinguish of free speech/express, freedom of media, death of publicity. that also led me to review President Trump's efforts to blame American media. I first time felt dubious upon Trump's intention, esp my hero, former President G.W Bush recently criticize Trump, too, even undebatable Trump's self-discipline of American, and America first, both holy strategy I believe in.
God dad, PRC stepping into new Empire. but tyrant lacks qualification to put him up for throne, like what happens in Russian shows, even the small bitch trying getting his new turn of Presidency, relentlessly. nobody except holy chosen leads to Crown. that's China future political landscape. thx dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with new territory we vested.

Oct 13, 2017

dreamt at hometown saw my kid brother had affair with a new bride whose husband's name same as mine in the village. he is an adopted son of a couple lately had their own younger son. in half nap I heard water heat system just water pumped in this season first time against chill and made sound inside channel. then I dream my kid brother bathed with the girl together in our old family's natural earth heat spring tube. the adulterous bride is granddaughter of the only woman whose most life is introducing half wizard religion with her tool of fate-telling in the village. my passed mother first attracted by the far neighbor then introduced to my dad, who since then more closer to faith and treated the old woman friendly in his late life till elapse. the old woman's surname is Mao, the same as PRC legendary leader. she never had a child and a life time smoker which quite strange among villager women. the bride father is also adopted by the old woman whose shrank husband also in surname Zhu as the founder of the village Zhudajiu, once prince of Founder & Emperor of Ming Dynasty. my kid brother introduced I had 2 other options to bath in the village. one is my aunt's homemade, another far from village near the village's dam & fountain. I hardly settled in man-powered bath tube in my aunt house. my youngest elder sister helped me to heat the water and chat with me. I just put off most of my lower part clothes but remained my chest covered in the scenario, squatted in bath tube before the water warmed up when later my cousins, ie my aunt's children, returned & gossiped around. I just felt awfully inconvenient with rural water heat system esp bath tube in dream likes old time rural toilet, maokeng or shit pit. in the last week I almost settled transferring out 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot. at first my son's domain, woz.fm, refuse display transfer authentication code. contacted godaddy then it fixed. then zho.io stuck in missing whois information and new platform can't find my email to send me initiating verification email to start transferring. I phone called godaddy 3 times barely explained my problem by my poor English. next day the hard initiative procedure rolling into track. that's all wonders I experienced after empowered by my hometown relatives' aid, and wonderful American gift of discount of my web presence cost, near ¥1200. the whole week in unease and relief of awesome of resolving. dad God, last to settle domain will arrive next Tuesday. help us clinch it unshakably. the whole week I felt unreal with the gain. now launch me in new land of adventure lest outpaced. God dad, in long run, let my investment on domain & our web presence weightless financially, burden free while rampant accessory as civilian in western democratic market nations. let us harvest in content and purposefully resourceful. in the week I review lots of my passed life, what my life means to others, including my son and my people in PRC. I hope my free of routine job while remains productive and self-rely. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to carry mission longer. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better homing. thx for this golden autumn morning, dad.
1st snow in Qiqihar 2017, with bliss for zhone

By: benzrad | October 08, 2017

Oct 8, 2017

dreamt with my son woz hangout computer market which located in narrow deep lanes. just after we find a set of converter for video or something, came 2 vendors bragged their new product which has a larger capacity than ours. but we didn't give up, and gradually retreated from the place. last night a drizzle turned clear with rhythm in my dream where I at first thought the sound of dripping is ants' eating dry wood, a scenario frequents my children hometown memories. today is my birthday and I will visit my son weekly after PRC boring national day & lunar mid-autumn day holiday, in which my once and long term workplace, QRRS, left me empty hand of seasonal bonus. I badly need the highly anticipated bonus to renew my domains bu...

By: benzrad | September 06, 2017

Sep 6, 2017

dreamt of bring my son traveling to my hometown. in suburb of our current town, passing a hotel we met many witches and wizards. some ambushed us. some cursed us. some stealed us. some transfered our appearance. in first attack, my son lost his outdoor baggage in a blink. second attack turned my son a disabled kid with damaged arms, lost his 2 mobiles I prepared 2 years ago. my son later told me he hide them in a place intact. we were heading to a bus stop where we will travel to Tianjin, north China where I graduated and broke my heart for a girl collegian. in Tianjin we will switch a bus then reach its railway station and head to our hometown in central China. in homeless and changing fake idol, we held each other firm against misleading exerted by those dark power. sometimes I want blamed my son according his performance but I later gave up, for they were forged and fake. some witch attempted to trade or threat, and attacked after our refusal. its a frightening dream. my neck turns more stiff and painful after nap. last night I ate too much, esp snack from street vendor near dorm gate and got sore water in throat midnight after woke up abrupt. I so gave up breakfast in canteen, and just napped. there were so many hatred in area of QRRS that I really felt. for example, the day before yesterday, a pile of dog shit or feces laid exactly front entrance of the dorm gate which using fence to narrow route. I after dinner and routine dusk jog started and in a blink stepped onto it through the limited gate. the night a middle size rain cleanse the dirty road. then in last dusk another small plastic bag in which likely bloods and dirts held laid there, pits the road block. a stubborn freak in his 60 or 70 constantly challenges me on my way jogging in dusk. twice the sin copied and according my changed route around the QRRS square just to facing me and deface my innocence. God grants my killing over the rubbish, the enemies of zhone Royal China. its a sunny noon now. I sunburn after lunch in the dorm minigarden, till nearby Senior middle school students came canteen for lunch. its very brilliant during recent clouds and rains. God dad, you guide me so far I didn't make any change around me. you tells me my security intact so far for future more widespread slaughter. yes dad God, I remember and trying remember the betray and profanation of my Royal China. grant me lighter heart for enjoying my daily bread and social times. bring me my Japanese Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for better future of felling PRC, failing Chinese on mainland. guarantee our spiritual uprising on Christian way. thx dad God.

Sep 5, 2017

dreamt with a Russian scholar visited Bill Gates' futuristic house. Bill at first introduce his encyclopedia. then his wife treated us dinner. his daughter also appeared. while lingering I studied my subjects. yesterday I in my life first time received dental health care: teeth cleaning. it's a small local clinic, which charged me ¥80, dearer than most web q/a. but the girl likely a deputy doctor worked diligently and careful. the second half operative did by another woman likely a doctor and a bit harsher. uncomfortable in the procedure ignorable but time spent endures matters. I spent near 1 hour, even when I left I felt relived. its my 1st step adopting western lifestyle in grace and managed. last Sunday afternoon I arranged woz monthly cinema. I waited him from his music class half hour in Qiqihar supermarket. the nearby guard of the market even doubting my task while I using my mobile to read there but no communication in air. after my son gloriously appeared, I presented him ice drink, movie "Dunkirk", and hotpot before taxied home. its wonderfully planned and executed in a pack. but the night I slept so deep that next morning I felt clueless and unclear when I visited my son for shower in public spa. his computer locked him out after too many logon failure due to the problematic mouse. so I spent another half day to reinstall windows. his mom, the small bitch, tentatively brought him out and lingered somewhere lately after 7pm when I left the house after settle all issues fixed. I wanted to report to my son my achievement and confidential but unable. my son also forgot bringing his mobile in usual hurry with his domineer mom. returned to dorm, I doubt if I carried frustration and tasteless after my son under expectation so many times putting me in despicable. but I decided to care my son full heart. so I buzzed him online and introduce my finished work and blamed him for dispensable mobile, which blocked my access instant and let me felt inferior to his mom hijacking him with superficial educational purposed activities. PRC government like a cheap teacher monopolies education and all time pretending orthodox draining otherwise creative initiatives. God dad, break through the fake idol, free my Chinese society from lifeless stagnant. bring me my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko from Japan, for humanizing social flesh and architecture. grant me sustaining my adorable domains with meaningful future world mapping.

Sep 1, 2017

first dreamt a veteran politician intended to make me a mayor. I then follows a group municipal bureaucracy to a mine field in city hall. we each hunted for diamond, golds, etc. then dreamt I was an entrepreneur. our product is astronomical components. then dreamt a group tourists visiting my elder brother's house. they likely helped my brother for his celebration of event with their colorful performance show. after they all left marching I left to blog in dream but delayed and unable settle. my youngest elder sister and my 3nd nephew accompanied me at home. when the guests came back, we and friends of my elder brother grouped into 2 delegations to compete with dart or shooting. my son attracted many audiences with his adorable when the party went hot. its a sunny morning while I napped most of mornings in the week. last night is strange: I recklessly tried to protect the dorm canteen after noticed likely mafia threatened and extracted custody fee. recently in at least 3 occasions I saw hooligans lingering in dorm canteen, superficially peacefully occupied seats with fewer orders but just wasted time unusually late. that's threat of troubles. last dusk I brought the canteen another water melon from street vendor and let canteen workers prepared some for me to eat. there were only another guy in the dorm there for dinner, and a 3 middle aged men group there detaining with few orders. I felt glad with my melon and soon left. in my room I reviewed the scenario and perceived the canteen operating family's under bully. so I re-visit there and saw only their kid and their father left accompanied the lingering pests. I loudly talked with the old father and angers left me left abrupt. in half hour I visited the canteen 3rd time. the 3 hooligans left in dark dusk with heavy bags each. I urged the father if they had problem they should contact QRRS authority but he shown skepticism. in the night I review my situation with rotten PRC society under shadow of world largest mafia, CCP, dogs tyranny. God, sooner or later your faith holder will be attested against sins and swan song of warlord, world communism esp inflated PRC. instil us with strength of faithful. shift us from dangers of brutal accusation. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, to enhance my life span. bring me stable investment reward for constant growth in business. thx dad, for the peace and hope.

Aug 25, 2017

napped since morning and dropped lunch. dreamt in earlier era with my elder brother vivid and his pals trading & discussing startup a company. I with my son interested in accounting and attempted to work for them in its early phrase and brought some innovative ideas. then dreamt in marching army. when the army at rest during raining, we tried to cross some units seeking for shower. in a jammed barrack girl and boy Scouts trade their items. I offered a sd card to trade, likely with my son's companion, at least 5 or more items from different traders gathered in front for exchange, including cards and other gadgets. most of the pals so friendly that we glad there for a drifting living. I woke up at noon when sunny outside. last night my son told me his Junior school life started with army training camp as prewarm. that explained why the night before yesterday he slept before 8 pm when I buzzed in. on his face some appear some hard thorns, as on his arm, that aroused my notice during our video chat online. he might frustrated. I also soon to search web for what it is. God, dad, we trust your mercy. then I regretted my unease would cause my son's overreaction with burden. I watched some embarrassing human bodies videos on youtube, and fragile of healthy body taught me lessons. I long time afraid of virus and that worsened when I napped. I unease with my pillow, one of them cheap quality and some dirty spots appeared even disgusting blackened. I felt my neck itching but I know mostly it's fake response. dad God, in siege of zhone's enemies, we naturally alert upon poisons, insanities and profanations. God, last dusk I saw separating us from common wealth of Zhong society attempts, threaten me of baseless includes my current comparable stable life with economic income. God dad, my ancestor left me resourceful and basic supportive standard allowing my innovative upgrade to breakthrough stagnant smothers Chinese society in hundred decades in failing sanity. that's my mission in this era. grant us freedom of starvation, brutal labor, motionless, and shoulder me on resilient of Zhong in relations. dad God, promise me the value of my workload.
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